For no particular reason at all, apropos of nothing in particular, a book called High Conflict: Why we get trapped and how we get out, by Amanda Ripley, caught my eye a few weeks ago.
Ripley distinguishes between healthy conflict and high conflict. Healthy conflict she describes as “useful friction” rooted in curiosity, passion, and where all sides want a solution. It can get stressful and heated, but everyone’s dignity stays intact.
High conflict is something else altogether, when discord distills into a good-versus-evil, us-versus-them feud where curiosity is replaced with certainly and righteous rage. The fight is no longer about the original issue, it becomes about the conflict itself. And there seems to be little interest in moving through it to the other side.
Sound familiar? Any number of local, national, and international examples may be popping into your head right now.
The book is very illuminating with stacks of stories as examples. One of my biggest takeaways for us is the role of narrative in perpetuating or getting out of high conflict, and that’s what I want to share with you here.
I'm Jennifer. I am an advocacy and communications strategist working with multiple charities and nonprofits. And I want to disrupt our sector for good.